TETA! Tito Ortiz and Peta Join Forces

Tito is doing what he can to help protect man’s best friend. Click the pic for more:

Affliction 3 in Joyzee!?

Author: Warren “The Fresh Prince” Piece

Rumor has it that Affliction numero tres MAY go down in A.C. in July or August ’09. That would be pretty f’n sweet for us Tri-Staters.

If you’ve haven’t seen this already over at MMARatings.net, here are my predictions for the title and Main Card of Affliction 3:

Affliction “Validation”

Fedor Emelianenko vs. Josh Barnett
Renato “Babalu” Sobral vs. Tito Ortiz (or Nogueira if Tito’s not ready)
Andre Arlovski vs. Paul Buentello
Vitor Belfort vs. ? (Affliction needs to pickup another 185 lb. Fighter)
Dan Lauzon vs. Chris Horodecki

Note: These predictions are based on Affliction’s current stable of fighters.

Affliction 2 in a Nutsack: One of the Best PPVs of All Time

Author: Royale W. Cheese

Photo: Jon Kopaloff at Getty Images

Click on “The Last Emperor’s” latest victim below for the full story (do it, do it!).

For Whom The Jingle Bell Tolls

Author: Satan Claws

The dead and myself have been working diligently down here in the “South
Pole” on this year’s X-Mas(sacre) List. It is nearly complete (I’ve been a
little sluggish lately..all this fucking food! Newborns are harder to digest
than one might expect). Here’s a snippet of what I’ll be bringing everyone (in no particular
order…CHAOS!!!):

Fedor: A renewal of the invincibility powers I bestowed upon him in
exchange for his soul many years ago.

Andrei Arlovsky: The illusion of a chance at beating Fedor, followed by
severe disappointment. 

Tim Sylvia: A selection of assorted pee-pees for the tasting.

Matt Serra: The opportunity to kick bible-toting Matt Hughes’ Midwestern
ass on behalf of NY and Italian-Americans everywhere. Look for the State to
lift the ban on MMA in NY within the next few months, thereby allowing this
fight to happen at the Garden. In the alternative, expect State Senate and
Assembly members to die a fiery-death!

Alistair Overeem: Kneepads. 

CroCop: A fancy pen for his impending retirement.

UFC: What do you get for the company that has everything?

Wanderlei Silva: A win against Rampage (but does he really need assistance
from me?) followed by a shot a UFC LHW Champ Rashad Evans (there I go
letting mortals in on the future again).

Big Nog: The full support of Hades in his run for the “official” UFC HW
title. He’s a good shit, that one.

Frank Mir: The word “ASSHOLE” tattooed on his forehead.

Frank Shamrock: Invisible braces.

Tito Ortiz: A clue.

Anderson Silva: A challenge (NOTE TO JOE SILVA: Thales Leites is not a
challenge).

Keith Jardine: Good advice: don’t take the rematch with Liddell. You
already have the W on your resume.

Bas Ruten: A new job…you’re ruining Inside MMA for me.

Phillipe Nover: Takedown defense (in the hopes that he may still one day
prove himself to be the savior of NY MMA).

Badr Hari: A K-1 Rulebook.

Gina Carano: A video camera on which to record a high-quality homemade
porno to be leaked on the internet.

US Fight Fans: A good, non-streaming, method of watching Fields Dynamite
on New Years Eve (should be one HELL of a show [evil laugh]).





Now remember kiddies, if you hear someone rummaging through your house on
Christmas Eve…you should stay in your  beds or I’ll chop your fucking
heads off with a butcher knife, string them together and make myself a giant
child-head cock-ring!!!